Thursday, June 22, 2006

Golden rules

Blogger Ken Germer has a great idea. On his site, Not that you asked me, but… he has begun a running list of rules to live by. I am inspired. So much so, I have begun my own list of life’s rules. These are things I have long thought, so I am pleased to able to rip Ken’s idea and share my own. I will add as I see fit, and these are in no particular order.

The first 20:

1. Men should never curse in front of women unless it is with good humor. Women shouldn’t curse period. There is nothing worse than hearing an f-bomb dropped from the mouth of a lady.

2. Showering together saves time and water. Plus, it’s always more fun.

3. Kia and Hyundai are for people who hate cars, hate driving, and therefore must hate life. I can’t think of a more boring automobile than either of these two brands.

4. Don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk. That’s not mine, I just heard it somewhere and it sounded good. Which brings me to my next rule:

5. The first time you retell someone else’s anecdote, give them all due credit. The second time, just say you heard it somewhere; and the third time you tell it, it’s all yours.

6. The scent of a woman will never cease to bring a man to his knees.

7. If you wear glasses, then you shouldn’t have any facial hair. It just makes you look like a tard…or a Canadian. You pick.

8. The shoes make the man. Don’t cut corners here. Get some nice kicks to go with that Burberry suit.

9. Not because they don’t understand good fashion, and not because they have better taste, but solely because they never wear them, women, will never be able to understand the importance of a good tie.

10. It has been said that no electronic device should ever be clipped to your belt. I agree, but that is just not a feasible solution on today’s information highway. Therefore, limit one device per belt please.

11. NASCAR is no longer just for rednecks. And for that, the sport has suffered.

12. I know you think nobody can see you when you pick your nose while driving. Nay, we can all see you. Don’t do it. It’s gross.

13. Always, always tell your spouse you love her/him upon your departure. Whether you are going on a business trip or going to the supermarket, it is a necessary last utterance.

14. Make it a point to drive upwards of 100mph at least once in your life. You’ll be surprised at its affects on your lifestyle.

15. Some say that in order to find the true love of your life, you must first endure a miserable heartbreak. That’s crap. Don’t go through that if at all possible.

16. Nobody ever really regrets their military service. If you are thinking about doing it, then nut up and enlist.

17. For the record, you can wear black shoes with a dark blue suit. This is one of the few exceptions.

18. Abbott and Costello is not just funny to old people, rap is not just for young people and Manischewitz wine is not just for Jews.

19. Don’t be inhospitable. Be a warm host and have people over often. Make your house their house while they visit.

20. Deal with tragedy as it happens. It is okay for men to cry.

21. Never, EVER use phrases like laying cable, pinching a loaf, or poking cotton in reference to going number two. Terms like that are gross. Just plain old gross.

In memory of 1st LT Forrest P. Ewens

KXLY: Whitworth ROTC graduate killed in combat in Afghanistan

Whitworth College Press Release

Forrest was a friend of mine in college. We lived on the same hallway in Stewart Hall my first year at Whitworth and kept a friendship throughout our years there. I have always held him and his twin brother Oaken in the highest esteem.

Forrest died for America’s cause, and in the service of his country; I believe the world is better place because of people like him.

Forrest was truly a great American and a real patriot.

My prayers are with his family as they mourn his loss.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Sticking it to the Man

Video clip of dude trying to cancel his AOL service

The world needs more Vincent Ferraris. Talk about sticking it to the Man, this guy went through all the hoops with AOL just trying to cancel his account. Speaking from personal experience, this is what really peeves me about big companies.

Ever try to cancel your phone service with Verizon? Or try to actually get that rebate that was promised by Comcast? How about retrieving the additional charge placed in error on your credit card by Enterprise? The experience will damn anyone to socialist philosophy (until they remember socialist philosophy has worse customer service).

To Vincent Ferrari I say, "Bravo." You stuck it to the man!